by Sherrin Griffin, Sidney SeniorCare –
When my husband and I decided not to have children, all of our friends and family members were aghast. “Why not?” they asked with incredulous looks. “You two are perfectly set up for kids!” In their eyes, “set up” meant married, living in a family-friendly neighbourhood with a house, backyard and white picket fence … but their biggest concern was “Who will take care of you when you’re old?” It was a fleeting thought that did occur to me, but seriously, was that a legitimate reason to have children? A few of my friends seemed to think so, but I threw caution to the wind and decided that we’d just have to manage … somehow. Maybe it was my own sense of stubborn independence or possibly it was the up-and-coming trend that I was already witnessing, where the children of aging parents were no longer settling near their progenitors. Whether a more lucrative job took them out of the city, province or even country; or perhaps their pursuit of a warmer climate, less stressful lifestyle, or vision of a “better life,” it was becoming evident to me that it is no longer a given that children will put down roots near their older relatives.
We can try to justify it by the skyrocketing cost of living in most major Canadian cities, resulting in the need to work more or even relocate for a better job opportunity. And then there are those who reject the hamster wheel and daily grind in search of faraway places that offer adventure and/or an alternative, healthier lifestyle. Ultimately, whether we blame it on pure economics or the trend towards a more transient way of life, facilitated by increasingly accessible travel and enticing global opportunities; the end result is that more older relatives are being left behind.
In less industrialized countries, where the demands of the typical North American over-achieving lifestyle are not so prevalent, children tend to settle near their parents and aging relatives. Still living by traditional values, rather than motivated by financial or status-driven pressures, children are more apt to remain closer to home. And, certainly, there are cultures where families are more inclined to live in close proximity, or even in the same house, and take care of each other as the years go by.
The impact of leaving senior parents behind can have ramifications that are less than ideal, but thankfully these days there are some positive options to consider: relocate the parent(s) to the family’s new destination if feasible; if not, try incorporating quality home support services into your parent(s) daily routine. Another option is to research assisted living facilities, on the rise as our senior population increases, to ensure that your parent(s) are comfortable, safe and well taken care of.
As I find myself approaching my senior years, I take great comfort in my own version of a cohabitation plan in which my like-minded girlfriends and I have resolved to live together, help support and take care of each other while we age; another emerging trend, especially among single senior women.
Option 2? Despite my decades-long decision to not have children of my own, I am blessed with a strapping young nephew, who, I think, has a soft spot for his old Auntie, and hopefully won’t mind helping her out from time to time!
