Is proper communication dead? A recent email nightmare gives me cause for concern. Someone with limited communication skills decided to get very annoyed with me by email. I was flattened to see an online message full of bold red letters followed by multiple exclamation marks. It left me wondering: Have emailing, texting, tweeting and Facebook chatting become an easy escape for people lacking the skills to face people directly? Or do the tremendous advantages of this expedient communication – with all the multiple perks – trump the occasional misuse of this new technology?
I was born in medieval times, before computers and cell phones. Back then, people actually talked to each other directly and wrote real letters. Over my lifetime, I have learned the profound value of communication. Being able to communicate effectively is a critical survival skill. Employers will hire those people who know how to talk persuasively. Most important: people are empowered by their ability to express how they feel face to face.
Don’t get me wrong. I love the internet, Facebook, Twitter, cell phones and email because they open up a whole new universe of connecting with others through messages, photos, videos and everything under the sun. The horizons are endless with so many ways to interface with the world. Because of the instant access to global issues through the Web, people are smarter, better informed and in a position to really make changes in this world. But there are still limits to this technology. Nothing replaces a good old conversation over coffee. We all crave that “human to human” physical contact and eye-to-eye connection. There is no substitute for touching an arm, seeing that tear in an eye and sensing those unexpressed feelings in a fleeting smile or a clenched hand. That is how we really get to know people – and ourselves.
Lois M. Collins is a reporter and columnist for the Deseret News in Utah. In her timely and poignant article, “A teenager’s biggest concern? Communication,” Collins probes this issue as it relates to teens – a massive social media demographic. When she asked teenagers to reveal the problem of their generation that most requires an immediate remedy, she was astonished at the answer from most of them: Communication! She writes: “They have plenty to say, but if they can’t say it in a text message, complete with abbreviations and stylistic quirks, many of them can’t say it at all. They know it. It even worries them a bit.” Collins drives the point home in a moving passage about a boy who text messages his dad about having a serious drug problem. Instead of sitting down and talking about it, they play texting ping-pong. What is wrong with this picture?
The awesome new electronic technologies make our lives and jobs easier and better. They are indispensable. But it is up to each one of us to have a healthy respect for their limits and to build our own capacity to talk to, engage with and touch other human beings heart-to-heart and eye-to-eye. It might even preserve a relationship.
True communication goes both ways, and I don’t want to do all of the talking. Please send us your reactions and comments! Read Lois M. Collins’ article at www.deseretnews.com.
By Doreen Marion Gee