by Lisa Johnson, Authentic Beauty –
Why do we struggle to love ourselves just as we are? Every woman is amazing, so why don’t we believe it?
Unfortunately, many women feel they’re not beautiful or good enough. We constantly criticize and judge ourselves.
Our partner, children and friends are not perfect, yet we love them unconditionally. We know we aren’t perfect, yet we want to be loved just as we are. We admire other women who are not perfect. If we actually were perfect, would we then love ourselves?
Denying self-love until an ideal body, appearance or accomplishment is reached is rough. Years of comparison and feeling inadequate leads to low self esteem and depression. When love is denied because of an “imperfect” beauty, body or life, it damages our exquisite souls.
“Standard” beauty is only one form of beautiful. Unique and imperfect are very beautiful indeed. As Karl Lagerfeld said: “I don’t like standard beauty – there is no beauty without strangeness.” Love your beauty in whatever form yours may be – standard, unique or otherwise – you are beautiful.
Beauty also comes from within. When a woman shines with confidence and love she is absolutely beautiful. No question. Believe in yourself. Love your amazing, beautiful, imperfect self unconditionally and others will see your sparkle.
So … how do you learn to love yourself just as you are?
- Write down how you want to be treated, loved and seen by others. Do you want respect without judgement? Do you wish to be loved for exactly who you are without criticism? Would you like others to see how smart, caring, talented, capable or creative you are? Now look at it from your perspective; do you love, respect and see yourself this way? It is far more important that you love yourself exactly as you are than for others. You are wonderful and your love starts from within.
- Begin each day with kind words to yourself, such as “I will love myself today”, “I am beautiful and unique; my body is lovely, and I embrace every bit of it.” Use phrases that make you feel loved and cherished.
- Catch self trash-talk. Replace negative, judgmental or critical self-sabotage thoughts or words with something nice. Prepare loving phrases to override negative ones.
- Avoid unfavourable comparisons or inferior feelings towards other women. Appreciate the many forms of beauty around you. Remind yourself that you are you and they are them. As Kurt Cobain said: “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” Be proud of you.
- Keep self-improvement goals realistic and remember these are simply goals and not criteria to love (or not love) yourself exactly as you are now.
- Dress in your own personal style, wear pretty makeup, do your hair and take care of yourself. This will boost your confidence and help you feel good.
- Be kind to yourself. Do nice things for yourself. Say nice things to yourself.
Embrace every part of you; it makes you You. You are a strong fierce, beautiful woman. Never underestimate how precious you are. Give yourself unconditional love and respect, because you’re amazing. Loving yourself is your jackpot, the cherry on top … everything!
