by Natalie Bell –
The other day I was driving to work when suddenly the driver two cars in front brought their vehicle to a full stop on the highway. They were attempting to cut across all three lanes to get to the exit. I had to stop very quickly, and as I did I braced for the sickening feeling of my car collapsing in towards me like a paper accordion. Luckily, I waited for an impact that never came, but I was MAD at this driver. I drove around and past their stopped car, laid on my horn like I meant it, and shouted a phrase I’d rather not repeat. I wasn’t just mad; I was afraid. I was really scared that something terrible could have happened, and so I vented that into anger and spewed it all over the stopped car and its driver.
Do you know why I did that? Because it was easy. Because being angry and yelling at this person was so much easier than taking a deep breath. Did they deserve that? I don’t know. I had no idea what was happening with the driver. Maybe they were in crisis, maybe they had a medical emergency, but I can bet that having me drive by honking and yelling angrily at them wasn’t helping. I knew that. The embarrassing thing is I’m a yoga teacher, and I should know better.
For the last 12 years I’ve been teaching people how to move through being reactive and instead taking a moment to consider how they’d like to move, act, or what they’re going to say next. That’s a lot easier to do when you’re in a yoga class, with pan flute music playing; it’s an environment precisely tailored to being relaxing, peaceful and a place for reflection. But how do you do that off the mat? How do we reckon with our anger, our fear, our anxieties and our stress, and stop ourselves from spewing it all over whomever happens to be nearby?
The most important thing I’ve learned in all the years I’ve been practising yoga is to breathe. Breathe, before you blindly react. Breathe, release your jaw and relax your shoulders. Breathe, release the compulsion to solve or fix or do. Breathe, forgive yourself. Breathe, embody your body. Breathe, let go, let go, let go.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up or disconnecting or not caring; letting go is a deep inhale that puts us out of our head and into our body, and a deep exhale that releases all the things that we’re holding on to too tightly. It’s a physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, soul release. It feels like surfacing for air after being held underwater; it’s our reminder that we are alive.
Unfortunately, we don’t get to let go just once and then we’re set for life. We have to do it relentlessly over and over and over again. We have to let go every day, and resist the temptation to eat ourselves alive. Letting go also means that we can do hard things, and rise above our fears. Take a deep inhale, feel the air filling your lungs and taking up space inside you; exhale, allow yourself to release everything that you’re tensing, forcing or guarding. Let go of everything that is holding you back.
Breathe. This is letting go.
