Words Allison Smith, Editor-in-Chief
I recently met three friends for dinner. These are women I have known since our children went to preschool together; the kids are now 11. We try and get together a few times a year to catch up; if we don’t make the effort to do so, our long-term friendships would be at risk of falling by the wayside as most of our kids are no longer connected through school or sports.
The dinners always fly by as we fill each other in on what’s going on in our lives, but, as is usually the case with women our age, the talk generally revolves around our children’s lives more so than what’s going in our own. This seems to be the way with mothers of school-age children. Out of necessity, we put ourselves aside to make way for the busy-ness (and business!) of parenthood. School pickup and dropoff, sports schedules and other extracurricular activities, meal planning and running a household all must take priority – too often, I think we lose the essence of “us” when “mom” has to take the forefront.
I’m not complaining; I love being a mom. But as the conversation swirled around us, I realized that beyond discussing what is going on in my daughter’s life, I didn’t have much to share about myself. As my child grows up and becomes more self sufficient, the idea of having more time – for just me! – is difficult to fathom.
What did I do with all my free time, before I became a parent? Do those interests still hold my attention, or am I ready to try something new? My love of reading is certainly still strong, and I am always happy crafting, but as I near middle age, perhaps I’m ready for something different … something more fulfilling.
In this month’s Meet Your Neighbours column (pg 38), long-time volunteer Fay Chisholm shares that when she was a young woman, she was told that “the only right you have is the right to be useful.” A lifetime of volunteering has shown that she took that central idea to heart, and it still holds true: everyone should try and be useful, when they’re able, whether it be to their neighbours, children, local organizations … the options are truly endless for those who want to help. And as my time looks to be opening up in the not-so-distant future, I think I’m ready to be one of them.
Clothing & accessories provided and styled by Ecotopia Naturals.
Photo Janis Jean
