by Tom Watson –
When you’re self-employed, it’s all about “getting gigs.” You have to have a product that people want, or you hope they want, and you have to hustle to beat out the next guy.
I’ve always wondered how the Easter Bunny got his gig. Sure, it’s only once a year, but you have to admit, it’s pretty much a global job. Not unlike Santa, “E-Bun” has to hustle like crazy to make his rounds on time.
I would have loved to have been in the marketing meeting when E-Bun made his pitch, and witnessed how he managed to convince the Holiday Board of Executives that not only does a rabbit deliver eggs made of chocolate, he hides them, indoors and outdoors, at the homes of well-behaved children.
Let’s look at the Easter Bunny himself. Though rarely spotted, he has been reported as being between 5’10” and 6’ 2” tall, which means he is likely not the most popular bunny at the Saturday hutch dance. Then there are the eggs. Rabbits don’t lay eggs, they don’t have a taste for omelettes and, without opposable thumbs, they really shouldn’t be handling something so fragile anyway. Which brings me to the chocolate. Maybe the whole fragility thing was dealt with by introducing the idea of chocolate eggs. One has to assume the CEO of Cadbury had a seat on the board.
So, we’ve got the giant rabbit, an endless supply of chocolate eggs and the chore of hiding them the night before Easter Sunday in anticipation of backyard Easter egg hunts. Of course, a few eggs always get missed and are shot out like tomahawk missiles by the lawnmower against the neighbour’s house the following week.
On top of all that is the mystery and magic of how this cumbersome yet beloved furball has the hustle and grit to make it to everyone’s house overnight and how he’s able to sit in behavioural judgement of North America’s children. But of course these two mysteries help solve the problem of Santa’s off-season. I’m sure E-Bun has some sort of monitor-sharing deal with Santa and his global network. The Tooth Fairy must chip into that data plan as well, easing Santa’s overall financial burden.
Really, E-Bun was a shoe-in for the gig. Easter is in the spring, a season associated with fertility and rabbits, of course, are known for their “mutual enthusiasm.” Eggs represent new life and as far back as the 13th century people decorated eggs and gave them as gifts. The gifts evolved as unrefrigerated eggs lost their appeal after a few weeks, so toys, trinkets and chocolate came on the scene. We don’t have an Easter Tree (thank goodness; at this time of year most people are still vacuuming up pine needles left over from Christmas), so that might explain the egg hunt.
There’s lots of theories but no real proof – however he did it, the bunny got the gig and he does a pretty good job.
