“Whatever is different scares people,” says James Gardner, facilitator of the relatively newly formed LGBTQ2+ for Seniors, a monthly support group in Sidney. “We all just want to live our lives authentically.”
James, an award-winning anchor/reporter at CFAX, is used to being on the other side of the interview, but I wanted to learn more about what, we believe, is the only support group of its kind on the Island and the transgender man who stepped up to take the lead.
On the first Saturday of the month from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m., the group meets at St Paul’s United Church in Sidney to share wins, socialize, create friendships, help each other through challenges and serve the group’s collective needs as they arrive. Though hosted at St Paul’s, the group has no religious affiliation, but appreciates Reverend Cheryl Black’s welcoming and inclusive space. St Paul’s is currently working to become a designated Affirming Church, which means it will be listed amongst a network of primarily United Church ministries that strive to be fully inclusive of people of all genders and sexual orientations.
While James already feels comfortable walking through the doors of St Paul’s, he tells me tolerance and understanding of “the other” is not always a given.
“As a transgender person, I personally take note of what are considered ‘safe spaces,’ that is, a place where I don’t have to guard my words, or try to figure out which person I can be myself with. Not all of our group members feel safe and welcomed in our current society, and it’s nice to have this space where everyone knows hate is not tolerated.
James, please share a little bit of your story and how you got to be in this role.
“It was total synchronicity that I was asked to facilitate this group. I was introduced to St Paul’s through another transgender person living in Sidney who identified a need for outreach to the senior LGBTQ2+ community. I have become a mentor for this person. I had been looking for such a group and was surprised there was nothing similar being offered on the Island. I felt very strongly we needed a group for LGBTQ2+ seniors.”
What brings people to the group and what keeps them coming back?
“There are specific issues we share collectively as a group. We still face discrimination in many areas. This group gives us a platform to identify areas of concern and work towards solutions. We’ve identified two areas in need of more support and action: lack of affordable housing, and better treatment of trans people in the health care system. But, there is also so much to celebrate. There is more inclusivity in the community; we are thriving with so much family support and some of us, like me, are looking forward to our retirement.”
How can we, as allies, help move the needle toward supporting equal rights and inclusion?
“It is imperative as an ally to speak up whenever you see or hear something homophobic or transphobic. Similar to racism, we must not be tolerant of hate of any kind. It’s easy to be complacent by thinking this isn’t happening, but LGBTQ2+ people are easy targets of hate and it still continues.
James, could you say something here about Pride Month?
“Pride month is a time to reflect on our wins as a community and to celebrate by coming together through music, readings and flag-waving. It’s also a time to welcome our allies and show our appreciation for their efforts. I am heartened to see so many straight/cisgender (those who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth) allies taking part in Pride activities. By coming out and joining the fun, you are showing your support.” There are plenty of ways to show your support: visit @pridesidney on Instagram or the Victoria Pride Society at www.victoriapridesociety.org/pride-2023.
Hope reigns eternal; what wins have you seen in the community in the last 10 years?
“I think society as a whole has gotten better at embracing our differences. People are taking the time to learn about the LGBTQ2+ community and realizing that we all want the same things in life, like love, support and to live our lives authentically. It seems people are feeling more comfortable giving space for differences.”
Thank you for saying yes and filling this important need. The group is still finding its legs, but what hopes and dreams do you have for it going forward?
“I am hoping the group flourishes and that we can continue to provide a safe space for folks and that we might even have an influence on community policies that enhance seniors living here. Maybe someday there won’t be a need for this type of group.”
The more I listened to your stories the more I see abundant similarities rather than abundant differences. We are all on a continual journey in a life of self-discovery; we all want to be loved and accepted and live the best versions of ourselves. When this is realized, we can give our best to the world at large. James, what parting thoughts would you like to leave us with?
“I want people to know that Sidney is a welcoming town and I believe it is making room for everyone to live and grow – I am happy to see that.”
If you are a senior who identifies as LGBTQ2+ you are most welcome to drop into this safe space and/or please feel free to reach out to James to find out more about the group at: 55plusinSidney@gmail.com.
