by Steve Sakiyama –
It has been a while since my last Seaside column. Sorry about that. After I finished dabbling in teaching meteorology at Royal Roads University, all my fans (three I think) encouraged me to start writing again. I was flattered, but I wonder if they were really thinking “you need the practise.” I agree. Writing humour and mixing it with weather-related facts requires two critical skills that often elude me: good writing and, um … humour.
Although finding the fun in life during the past two years has been difficult, there are lots of ordinary things that can make us smile. For example, just walk the aisles of a grocery store and find funny oxymoronic labels like Fat Free Creamer, Hot Chilies, and my top choice: Boneless Spare Ribs. It’s awfully good entertainment.
Some food names are comically curious, like Buffalo Wings. I didn’t know Buffalo had wings, did you? Do they fly in flocks and head south for the winter? What about Free Range Eggs? Picture thousands of eggs with tiny legs scurrying around the wild ranges of Wyoming – thunderous herds of them disappearing into the dust while the song Rawhide plays in the background.
Rolling, rolling, rolling,
Though the yolks are swollen,
Keep them Grade A’s rolling,
Rawhide!
While strolling through the dairy section, you may notice something called Grass Fed Butter. The name conjures up an image of large butter cubes quietly sliding through verdant meadows – happily content while grazing on an abundance of green grass. Everybody wants healthy and happy butter, don’t they? If eating grass does it for them, then I’m all for it.
Speaking of walking the aisles, what is in store for us as we turn our forecast weather cart into the April aisle? Our weather this month will be influenced by La Nina – an amazing phenomena that involves both the atmosphere and currents in the Pacific Ocean. The way it works fills me with wonder. During a La Nina event, stronger-than-normal winds near the equator push ocean water away from the coast of Peru. In order to replace this water, huge volumes of cold water from the depths are drawn upwards (a process called “upwelling”). The combination of winds and upwelling creates colder-than-usual water surface temperatures that extend over most of the equatorial Pacific. This massive cool zone influences weather patterns over a large part of the globe. For us here on the South Island, thanks to La Nina the outlook for April is a greater chance of cooler and wetter than normal conditions.
Ahh April. This month enjoy the spectacular emergence of nature in all its glory. The abundance of new life makes me thankful for what we have, like grocery stores and their amazing staff, food labels, eggs running wild, grass-grazing butter, and of course the indescribable beauty of nature. Go out and walk the aisles of a forest to the top of a grassy hill. The sound of the wind, waves and rain create a natural chorus – so close your eyes and listen. The sound of this immersive, amazing music is beyond description by words, labels or names.
