– by Sharon Hope –
Joyce, who was adopted as an infant, often tried to find her biological family but could not. Finally she obtained the name of an adoption agency in Quebec and when she contacted a social worker there, it was indeed the correct agency.
“About two years passed before I got a call back. The worker said she would be investigating the matter. The next day she called to say she had just spoken with my 88-year-old mother. I was floored … I mean, I actually sat down on the floor.” After 60 years, Joyce wondered if her large biological family would want to meet her and if they did meet, would it go well?
Joyce grew up in a secure, loving family but was curious about her past. “I always knew I was adopted. I was taught and believed that I was given up through love. Somehow my adoptive mum learned some facts about my birth parents, which she passed on to me. I learned later that the other side of the story was not so positive. My birth mum never got over the sacrifice. My parents married several years after I was born but were not happy; my sisters never felt loved. I wonder if giving me away made it hard for my birth mum to show affection. You can tell she loves her family, but she doesn’t show it. My father, who died some years ago, was a ladies man. One day he went to work and didn’t come home for a year. He was in Montreal with another woman.”
While Joyce had always hoped to find her family, Cheryl, one of her sisters, wanted to be reunited with Joyce. Cheryl’s mother had mentioned many years before that Cheryl had an older sister. They had been discussing a friend of Cheryl’s who became pregnant in high school and this conversation resonated with Cheryl’s mother.
“After that, I was always looking in crowds and wondering about her. I often talked to my parents about trying to find Joyce. Dad said it was up to my mother. Mum gave me details, gave me the hospital, but I got lost in the search. Mum came from a very strict religious family. She gave Joyce up to the agency and then returned to take her back. Finally after several more months, Mum gave Joyce up permanently. It was a truly unselfish act. About three years ago I contacted the agency. We heard nothing then suddenly, while I was at work, a call came from Montreal. The social worker simply said ‘Joyce Ellen is looking for you.’ This whole experience has been so wonderful and surreal that I doubt if I could find the words to describe it.”
Joyce flew back east with her two sons to attend a family gathering of siblings, uncles, aunts and many cousins. Much to her surprise, there was no strangeness or awkwardness; everyone accepted her. Some of the cousins even shared similar interests. Joyce said: “My son and his cousin discovered they shared a passion for music. We met a crazy, wild and wonderful family. This reunion has changed my life and my sons’ lives. I believe everyone involved has benefitted. We are on a lifelong journey together. The circle is complete.”
