– by Michael Forbes –
Our radio station Ocean 985 is giving away family vacations to Hawaii this month and it got me daydreaming about a cavewoman, a car wash and Don Ho. Before you question my state of mind, please let me explain.
The first time we flipped our flops on the sands of Hawaii was after Lisa won a trip at a staff party. Odd, we give away vacations all the time and that was the first and last time we actually won one. It was … well … honestly … not fun. The only thing I remember was being trapped on the 28th floor of our highrise hotel with the curtain shades drawn and afraid to go outside. Literally 24 hours after landing in paradise Lisa got bad sunstroke and a burn that caused her face to swell up big time. With a now prominent forehead and deep set eyes, she looked like a cave woman. We were now holed up in a darkened, cavern-like room and she grunted at me to get her things, making it extra stone-agey. Shes laughs about it now but I’m not surprised that all the vacay pictures of me, the room service dude and the “missing link” have disappeared.
This did not stop us from going back for a do-over, this time with a plane load of contest winners and a mission: if we’re going to do a radio show from Hawaii then we’re going to darn well talk to Don Ho.
The scene was set and we were invited to his show at a bar where he played five nights a week. It looked like it came right out of the movie Goodfellas, literally frozen in 1962. He was silhouetted on stage behind his Hammond organ with a white telephone perched on top. During every song he would sing, play the organ, pick up the phone and talk to somebody. What was so important that he had to chat on the phone during Tiny Bubbles? Was it a demand for more bubbles? Was it a hotline to God to please take him now?
After the show, we met him looking small in a gigantic padded booth while he was hand-hugging a tumbler of scotch. This man ate peanut budder and nanner sammiches with Elvis and drank Sinatra under the table and he was talking to us! He was warm, gracious and magnetic. We never did have the guts to ask about the phone.
You are probably wondering about my third delusion, the car wash. On this same Hawaiian trip we brought our then 18-month-old Noah. Yes, we’re those parents that drag wailing kids with them on flights, but we were prepared. We knew he might be scared during the takeoff and landing so we came up with a brilliant idea. Every day for a week we got into the mini van and played the airplane game and pretended we were taking off while driving through an automated car wash.
We figured if he got used to the noise and vibration he’d think flying was fun. It worked! Sadly though, he saved all of his screaming for the veterans on the boat ride out to the Pearl Harbour Memorial. Trapped in the glares of scornful vets, Don Ho’s phone popped into my head … and the words “Take Me Now.”
Forbes & Marshall are the hosts of Ocean 98.5’s popular morning show. Join them weekday mornings from 5:30 to 10:30 a.m.
