– by Michael Forbes –
Dozing on the couch, I was jarred awake by the sound of bells. As my eyes adjusted to the TV, I made out the scene of a living room adorned with a Martha Stewartish tree, roaring fire and ice frosted windows. The pleasant holiday memories that washed over me abruptly turned to annoyance and not because I fell asleep with the remote lodged in my kidney. It’s because it was only October 21st and I had just been blindsided by the Christmas Creep. It seems everybody now tries to get a jump on the season which means that Christmas creeps onto the calendar and into our lives far too early.
I’ve always been amused by the idea that the “Christmas Creep” would be a great character. Maybe a gentle soul who always dressed in green work coveralls, wore a knit toque cap and reminded one of Relic from the Beachcombers. That would be my grandfather. He personified “the creep” and would have celebrated the season all year round if we let him. His love of Christmas started as a small child when he was captivated by a snow globe Santa that illuminated the mantel above the fireplace. He was so in love with this time of year, he actually complained to a store manager once about not being able to buy eggnog in July.
Transforming his home every year into the North Pole and the nativity was no easy task, and he was prone to doing things the hard way. I was his elf helper but his nemesis was the fuse box and large tangles of hellish lights. He and electricity were not friends and I knew every time I smelled burnt toque it involved him, a screwdriver and a faulty light socket. He had so many bright lights it was rumoured that the ill-fated Apollo 13 crew guided their broken ship back to earth by the glow of his twinkling house. His specialty though was losing his footing and sliding down one side of the roof.
Long before there were maps in the paper of decorated homes, he created traffic jams and his display brought joy to people and heartache to his electric bill. After he passed away, my grandmother received thank you cards from strangers who said they were going to miss his little oasis of Christmas. He would have loved that. I noticed last year that the house across the street is featured on the Xmas Light Tour. I’d like to think that the loveable Christmas Creep still lurks and has left some holiday magic in his old neighbourhood. You may be able to tell by the Christmas spirit that overcomes you. That, and the smell of burnt toque.
Forbes & Marshall are the hosts of Ocean 98.5’s popular morning show. Join them weekday mornings from 5.30 to 10.30 a.m.
