– by Barry Mathias –
Visitors, and those who live in urban areas, might mistakenly think that elections on the Islands are tranquil affairs, where the candidates are peace-loving, time-oblivious vegetarians who may under extreme duress raise their voices, and where campaigning consists of non-alcoholic coffee mornings. That is definitely not the case.
After four simmering years of waiting for another local election to appear, Islanders approach the whole affair with an enthusiasm that has echoes of a Roman gladiatorial engagement. These are not your quiet, opinion-restricted, do-as-you’re-told voters, but voluble, highly charged democratic activists. They have sharpened their teeth in innumerable yard sales, where speed, a good shove and sleight of hand wins the day; they have attended Fall Fairs and Christmas jamborees and have survived to tell the tale! Not for them the pussy-footing: “Dare I tell him what a fool he is?” or the: “Someone should tell her to speak up.” Oh no! The local elections have gumption and spirit, and are conducted on a scale quite unexpected for those who are new to the drama.
The first indications of the up-coming excitement are the signs, sprouting-up like multi-coloured crocuses in early spring. While signs on the mainland litter every public space, especially roadsides, Islanders are more parsimonious. Some large signs do appear occasionally on roadside verges, but these are for the benefit of the extremely forgetful or those with eyesight problems. The main thrust is to establish small signs on private properties; it is a competition that is conducted with the enthusiasm and single-mindedness that children display on Halloween night. Each sign placed is a small victory, creating a mixed reaction from interested neighbors.
Sadly, there has been a rapid demise in ‘door-knocking’ by hopeful candidates, who now use the internet with increasing savvy. Gone are the ‘good old days’ when earnest canvassers could be detained on the doorstep for hours by wily supporters of the other side; gone are the ribald memories: “I tell you, he came to the door without a stitch on, and drunk as a newt.” Personal interactions are done mainly on the telephone or the computer, which is why the All Candidates Meetings (ACM’s) are so popular.
ACM’s are held in the largest indoor venues on the Islands, usually Community Halls and School gyms. The latter allows members of the audience to indulge in sentimental memories of their school days, while they re-enact the very behavior patterns that made them unpopular with their teachers: “Do not make silly faces … stop those rude noises … who was doing that slow handclap?”
The format for these occasions varies around the Islands. For some, the organizers try to enforce politeness and fairness, by insisting on receiving all questions in advance, and having a moderator read them out to be answered by all candidates in 45 seconds or less. On other Islands, questioners line up and are able to direct their deadly, unrestricted verbosity at a single intended victim. The first produces a long list of questions with little possible depth in the responses. For instance how do you answer: “What do you consider to be the most important issues?” in 45 seconds! The other can result in full-blooded interactions, and ‘a good time is had by all.’
After the recent elections, now the signs are gone and comments on the internet have ceased to be contentious, the victorious candidates suddenly realize the countless hours of meetings that lay ahead for them. The rest of us admire their tenacity, and give thanks it’s not us!
