I’ve had some self-reflection to do this month. The subjects of success and achievement have been top of my mind as I’ve watched all the entries for our Woman to Watch contest come in. There are some seriously impressive women out there, working hard. I saw examples of innovation, perseverance and great strength. All around me are women aiming high and achieving great things. Is that why it’s so hard to admit to making mistakes myself then? Somewhere along the line I have been sold a lie that perfection and success are really the only options. As a girl I was always encouraged to try anything I wanted; to aim to be anything I wanted to be. How liberating for me not to be limited by my gender (and I’ll be forever grateful for the birthday when I received my first sewing kit AND toolbox on the same day. Complete with soldering iron, now what little girl doesn’t want one of those?) My parents were great role models for being self-reliant and independent, something I’ve strived to emulate. But it seems that society has added a caveat to that – not only are women capable of doing anything, but they should be able to do everything. So yes, great to work the same job as a man (and possibly be paid at the same rate) but also you can train for a triathlon, and bring fresh baked cupcakes into school for your kids’ class and don’t forget to grow your own vegetables and organise a regular manicure because women today must have ‘me-time’ too.
There is an insane pressure on young women to achieve in all areas of their lives, and believe me nowhere is that pressure felt more than at the schoolyard! Competitive parenting seems to me to be the worst example of the achievement arms race that women have embarked on. And to run alongside it, a constant media stream of the physical perfection we are expected to aspire to; unhealthy and unrealistic though it may be.
I like the idea of women being people, just another part of the great mess that is the human race. While celebrating their successes let’s not forget that for every success story there’s a challenge overcome, a sacrifice made and probably a few mistakes along the way too. I’m learning all the time that while I may be capable of many things, there’s only so much I can do well. My thought for International Women’s Day is let’s forget about women ‘having it all’: why not just aim for the things you really want, and leave the rest of it for someone else, female or male.
