I thought I’d write about men this month – no, no, stay with me! With our ‘Men to Watch’ special I’ve had men and mentoring on my mind.
With two brothers meant I grew up in a house that was always full of boys. Loud, keen to travel in packs; a house with two teenage boys is a very male environment. Now I have two boys of my own. I’m quite used to the certain kind of energy that comes from their groups of friends. I was even a cub leader for a couple of years: you can safely say I’m unafraid of boys. Even the cats in my house are male! I can’t deny that I had always imagined having a daughter, but those crazy, funny boys, with their intense enthusiasm for tractors and trains; Pokémon and Sci-Fi, fill my life with laughter and make me proud every day.
I have a good relationship with my dad; I value his opinion, trust his advice and most importantly perhaps, enjoy his company. But to be honest I don’t think I ever valued his role as my father until I had my own kids and understood the complexity of parenthood. Now I understand why he always wanted us to be quiet at the dinner table. Why he patiently showed me how to sand and paint a window frame or fix just about anything that was broken. Why he shared his enthusiasm for jazz and reading and low-key adventures in the countryside. My dad taught me about tolerance and seeing the bigger picture without giving lectures or ever imposing his own views on me. He is a fantastic role model.
When I met my husband I think I knew pretty early that he was ‘the one’ for me. He’s funny and very clever and totally self-deprecating. These were all great assets in my eyes (and handsome of course, let’s not forget handsome). I never considered what kind of dad he’d make though – I was 19, it wasn’t on the horizon! I could have told you once I’d met his father. My father-in-law is another great role model and my husband demonstrates the same patience, enthusiasm and sensitivity to his kids as his dad must have shown to him. Likewise my two brothers are now both fathers to families of three kids. I see shades of my dad in many of their mannerisms and in the way that they are raising my nieces and nephews.
These are my ‘Men to Watch’; fathers, brothers and sons, and I’m grateful for them all. Here’s to all the significant men in your life, make sure you celebrate them too.
