Words Natasha Jackson, CPHR, Psychological Health & Safety Professional and Workplace Health Consultant
Understanding Stress Before It Becomes Your Normal
You know that feeling when you’re lying in bed at 11 p.m., completely exhausted, but somehow you can’t put your phone down because you absolutely need to finish the quiz: “If You Were a Chili Pepper, Which One Would You Be?”
Or when someone asks for help and you’ve already said yes before checking your calendar, even though it’s full and you have no idea when you’ll fit it in?
Yeah, me too.
What I’ve learned is that when everything starts to feel urgent, stress has often quietly taken the wheel.
In When the Body Says No, Gabor Maté identifies three universal causes of stress: uncertainty, lack of information and loss of control. When I first read that, something clicked. These three factors show up so consistently in daily life that we often stop noticing them.
That’s the challenge with chronic stress: it rarely arrives all at once. Instead, it settles into the background. We get used to feeling overwhelmed. We wear busyness like a badge of honour. We push through headaches, exhaustion, irritability and brain fog, promising ourselves we’ll deal with it later.
Until later never comes.
The Three Drivers of Stress
Uncertainty is everywhere. Will I get enough sleep tonight? Will that strange noise from my car turn into an expensive repair? Is my child OK? Are my parents OK? Am I making the right decision?
Our brains crave predictability, but life rarely provides it.
Lack of information can be just as stressful. We’re surrounded by information, yet often struggle to find the answers we actually need. We end up trapped in endless Google searches, scrolling social media for advice, or consuming more content without gaining any real clarity.
Then there’s loss of control, which may be the biggest stressor of all.
It shows up when your to-do list feels impossible, everything seems like a priority, and saying yes feels easier than saying no. It appears when you’re exhausted but can’t follow through on the simple things you know would help.
Over time, these three factors can create a cycle: stress makes us feel less capable, and feeling less capable creates even more stress.
Signs It’s Time to Pay Attention
Stress often reveals itself through subtle changes. You might notice that:
- Everything feels urgent.
- Decision-making becomes overwhelming.
- You don’t know where to start when you sit down to work.
- You keep replaying the same thoughts without making progress.
- You feel scattered, distracted or out of control.
If any of that sounds familiar, you’re in good company.
Small Changes Can Make a Big Difference
Managing stress doesn’t always require a complete life overhaul. Often, the most effective solutions are small, practical steps that address the root causes.
Create Pockets of Certainty
You may not be able to control what’s happening in the world, but you can build predictability into your day. A consistent bedtime, meal prep, a regular lunch break or a simple morning routine can become an anchor when life feels chaotic.
Be More Selective About Information
Take intentional breaks from the news and social media. Identify a few trusted sources and stick with them. And remember sometimes the answer you’re looking for isn’t online, it’s a conversation with someone you trust.
Focus on What You Can Control
Start by identifying what’s actually within your influence. You likely have more control than you think. Practise saying no to one thing this week, just one. Notice what changes when you choose where your time and energy go instead of letting everything else decide for you.
Pay Attention Early
Real self-care isn’t just bubble baths and weekends off; it’s addressing the sources of stress before they take over.
If you’ve read my previous articles, you may remember the Mental Health Continuum, a useful tool for recognizing when stress is beginning to affect your well-being. Whether you’re familiar with it or not, the principle is simple: pay attention early.
You don’t need to fix everything this week. Choose one area, uncertainty, lack of information, or loss of control and make one small change.
Because sometimes the most powerful thing we can do for our health is notice what’s happening, name it and take one small step toward regaining our footing.
Better days rarely arrive all at once. They start with one small choice.
